Dear Harry Potter,

I'm afraid this is going to have to be our last correspondence. Some friendly, neighborhood Evangelists have opened my eyes. I used to think that you were just a character in a really cleverly written book, entertaining for all ages. But apparently you are an evil being that is brainwashing the youth of our world to sin by practicing occultism.

I'm afraid I just can't stand for that. Stop sending your owl.

We're through,
r