Dear Camembert Cheese,

I blame you for my bursting seams. I love you. I hate you. I can’t live with you. I can’t live without you. (Except I have to because I can’t really afford you on a regular basis. You were a holiday treat.)

My point is, it’s been swell but we have to part ways. I don’t want to be confused with the one of the Big Five when tourists see me. But alas, I will continue to dedicate all my toasts to you as I did throughout my time in South Africa.

Love always, but from afar,
r