Dear Self,

I know you didn't want to buy clothes while you were in Namibia. Waste of money and all that jazz. But you literally wore giant holes into your pants. So don't feel bad about buying those new shorts. Plus, your old pants were starting to smell. It's true.

Chin up pup!
r

P.S. No, the new pants don't make you look fat. All those cheese/bacon croissants... that's what's making you look fat.