Dear Housekeeper,

I like you. But honestly I'd like you a whole lot more if you stopped using my razor/pumice stone/vasoline/chapstick. Aaaaand stop stealing my sinus medication/brushing your hair with my footbrush. (Although I think the footbrush thing is grosser for you than me...)

But that's when we can really start being friends.

Til then, not so much,
r