Dear Temple Elephant,

You don't play by the rules! The deal was one rupee for a small blessing and ten rupees for a long blessing. You took my rupee from me and then just stood there. Where's my blessing?! Your handlers said you wanted more money because I was from a rich country.

First of all, I haven't even been to that "rich country" in over two years! Second of all, I'm on a budget, ho! I just wanted a small blessing.

Is it sacrilege to call an elephant that's living in a temple and trained to "give blessings" a greedy bitch? Because YOU ARE.

Ripped off,
r