Dear Intense Internet Addiction,

You’re slightly embarrassing. And my friends back home are starting to notice you. I thought I could keep our relationship secret but it’s abundantly clear to me now that that’s just not possible. So I’m afraid this is it. The end. Leave me alone.

We’re so over,
r

P.S. I’ll leave the key to the back door under the mat… you know... for umm… emergencies. Shh! Love ya!