Dear Prayer,

You're kind of a complicated thing but I think I've got you figured out. You come in two distinct forms: Kid Prayer and Adult Prayer.

When kid's pray they usually put their hands over their mouths so no one can really hear anything they're saying. None of them actually close their eyes, but rather squint just enough so that it kind of LOOKS like their eyes are closed. But you can tell their heads are still moving around looking to catch other classmates who aren't closing THEIR eyes. (Sinners!)

Kid prayer is guarunteed to be over in under 10 seconds. They want to just hurry up and get it over with and start whatever they are about to start (their work for the day, recess, mealtime, etc...).

This is pretty much the standard Kid Prayer: "Bless my friends. Bless my family. Bless our food. Bless the people in the hospital. Bless the people in jail. Please Jesus, help us finish our homework. Amen."

Now Adult Prayer... Adult Prayer is a whole different game. Adult Prayer is about 5-7 minutes long. No joke. And full of sentiments of how grateful we are to be loved by Him even though we are all undeserving, dirty, dirty sinners. Repeat the sentence "We're unworthy" in a million different ways over and over again for 5 minutes and you've got Adult Prayer.

Anyway, that's what I've figured out so far.

Amen,
r

P.S. I was asked to pray once for the group at Bible Study. They found out I only know Kid Prayer. I don't think they'll ask me again. Success! (Sexass?)