Dear Reststop toilet,

I know you probably think I'm hating on you because you were a squat toilet. I'm not. I've gotten pretty damn good at those. But when there's a faucet handle directly in the path of the downward trajectory of your squat... that's different. And when that faucet handle is shaped more like a razor-sharp knife... that's WAY different.

My left cheek will never be the same,
r