Dear Angelina Jolie,

You are sneaaaaaaaky! You're all like "Oh look at me! I had a child in Africa!" Well guess what. I've been to Swakopmund and that's NOT Africa. German people outnumber Namibians in that town by like 10 to 1.

"Look at me! I'm Angelina! I can have a baby in a ritzy, expensive, beach-side town. Isn't everyone impressed?!"

I'm blowin' up your spot like woah,
r